Phoebe Bridgers offers a holiday cover of ‘So Much Wine’ as well as the usual free-trade benefits. At this time of year you could hardly expect anything else.
On the day of departure (after the ceremony, no doubt) the young and beautiful bride will have been fed and housed with all the best wishes – I believe the word is ‘flattery’ – of her husband. The groom – a well-known ‘fussy eater’ – will have been fed, probably the best food and served by the best waiters, so that he would return to his hotel on the first night and go to sleep with a ‘full stomach’. He will have been cosseted and pampered in all the usual ways, with a special place set aside for him in a bedroom, with ‘a special room’. In time, if the newlyweds are sensible, they shall buy him a special birthday present, perhaps a big motor car, or a brand-new, shiny motor cycle, which will give them the pleasure of driving it on their honeymoon. The couple may even take the honeymoon in the South of France, which is a wonderful idea, and have a lovely time, staying at a beautiful villa or hotel, with a private swimming pool, or in a château. (A château is a castle or medieval fortress. It is a house, like a manor house, which has been built on the site of an older castle.) They could go to live in a charming country cottage or in the country, or stay in a lovely hotel, or in the best hotel in the country, and visit its famous beaches or the famous museums and art galleries.
In the meantime the bride and groom can indulge their passion for wine on their honeymoon together, and, as the first course, sample the best local wines at the hotel, or have champagne served in their newlyweds’ bedroom. (There will be a maid, of course.) Or they may try a few wines before the wedding, perhaps in some friendly wine bar. So much wine, it is said, will be drunk by the newlyweds on their honeymoon that some hotel or restaurant may offer a ‘wine and cheese party’ for them.
If you are a woman, and you are not in the least affected by the fact that there are no men on your honeymoon,